


War of the Ancients Abridged Summary

by Arkanasis



Series: WoW Abridged Lore [2]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/M, Gen, Lore - Freeform, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkanasis/pseuds/Arkanasis
Summary: To tired to bother reading paragraphs of boring lore? Don't want to pay for over priced lore books? Just a lazy asshole in general? Read a short and funny summary of the War of the Ancients here!





	

~~~~~War of the Ancients Notes(-10,000)~~~~~

 

  * The Burning Legion is a vast army of demons. It was founded by crazy ass titan who went all dark side (Sargeras for short)



 

  * The War of Ancients was the first time The Legion (AKA the bitchtit demon squad) invaded Azeroth.



 

  * Sargeras McDouchebag was drawn there by the Nightevles (More specifically these facsist ass holes called Highborn) had begun trying to pull more power from the well of eternity(Which is an all powerful energy and life source cause someone thought that was a fucking good idea?? Basically the Azerothian equivalent of Jurassic Park if you think about it. Sounded like a good idea except the fact that it DIDN’T).



 

  * Sargeras wanted the well’s power. Surprising huh?



 

  * The Nightelf Queen granted Sargeras access to Azeroth, driven mad by her own power (Elves are renown for Magic addiction; they even made up a special term for the addicts: Blood elves).



 

  * USELESS FACT TIME: Demon Warlocks are called Searing Infernals



 

  * The demons laid waste to the Nightelves’ vast empire, while the queen was getting high AF.



 

  * Malfurion Stormrage and his brother Illidan set off to aid their people, being joined by Priestess Tyrande. (I smell a love triangle forming… I bet the chick and Mally both have a thing for Illidan…)



 

  * What? The bros like le pretty priestess(WHAT??) but tyrande only got a thing for Malfurion(WHAAAAT??), probs cause Illidan is a magic druggie and she want stability and low maintenance in a hubby(Oh.. Valid point).



 

  * They were joined by the Demigod Cenarius. THEN that guy convinced the great Dragon queen to send her dragon minions to help the nightelves cause well.. Everyone would be screwed if the demons won.



 

  * Cenarius also had an army of tree-men? That was cool.



 

  * They attacked le Demons while delusional High Night Elf queen and her minions started making a portal for Sargeras to enter Azeroth. (In her defence.. She was trippin’ on some heavy shit)



 

  * The dragon aspect of earth, Neltharion, went cray-cray during the battle and turned all firey and evil and decided the name “Deathwing” was cooler.(I don’t blame him. If my parents named me Neltharion I would want to change it to something more metal too)



 

  * All the other dragons were like “Oh no!” And left because their friend was suddenly evil?? Like the planet can wait for them to angst some??



 

  * Malfurion was all like “Noooo wai we lose?” Then he decided “We need to destroy the well before Sargeras arrives!” and all the elves were like “WTF then we would be mortal!” And Tyrande was having none of their petty crap and was like “Suck it up and do what my hubby says!” So they did. Tyrande has more aggro than most Paladins I know, for real tho.



 

  * The Illidan decided that was BS because he was still a druggie and EVERYONE knows drugs come from magical wells.



 

  * Then Illidan tried to protect the well, thus siding with the queen??



 

  * So when Mally and friends went to stop the Queen they got their asses handed to them and Tyrande got hurt somewhere in the middle of it and then Mally was all like “Noooooo Waifuuuu!” And decided he would kill the queen.



 

  * Then Illidan was like “Demons gunna kill everybody so I better get that stuff while I still can.” So he filled some Vials with the wells waters.



 

  * Mally brawled it out with the queen and fuqed up their spell real bad. So bad the well went boom and the entire world got fucked. Literally. There is a giant fucking crack in the planet now cause mally was a bitch.



 

  * The now deformed queen took her minions into the ocean and became magestic asshole mermaids (Naga).



 

  * The center of le explosion is called the Maelstrom and under it is the Naga city. So The queen basically wants to live super close to her biggest fuck up??



 

  * THE END



**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was a lot of fun to make and I am glad you read it! I plan on making moreAbridged Summaries soon!


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